by Diane
I don’t believe in making New Year’s resolutions. That’s not to say that I don’t believe in making personal improvements. I work hard to be a better person, especially in regards to my emotional health. While New Year’s resolutions work for some people, to me they represent added pressure. Personally, I don’t need another deadline or expectation put on me. If I were to make a New Year’s resolution and not have it completed when the next year arrived, I would feel like I had failed. Then, what would I do? Make the same resolution? Give up? Neither option sounds all that great for boosting my mood and esteem. If I did meet my resolution, would I feel pressured to make another to fill the gap?
I am confident that not everyone who makes a New Year’s resolution gets this analytical about it. Unfortunately, especially because I am an anxious person, this is where my mind goes. By making a New Year’s resolution, I would most likely cause myself more grief than anything else.
Instead, I believe that I cannot put a time stamp on change. Right now, I am working fiercely to deal with the hurts and losses of last year. I am trying to express my emotions as they arise and be patient with the process. Will I be “done” this year? I hope so, but there is no guarantee. Even when I am “done,” I expect to deal with these events from time to time as they are now part of my story. Dealing with PPD and my other painful experiences brings me growth and personal improvement. These hurts are not experiences I would have chosen, but I have decided to face them and become a stronger person.
This is how I resolve to make improvements in my life – accept what God brings my way; laugh, cry, and pray about my experiences; reach out to others; and learn from my experiences so that I can be the woman God intends me to be. I don’t know what this year will bring, but I know there will be times of delight and help for the trials. I wish you many blessings in this new year.
