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Posts Tagged ‘tired’

by Diane

I feel blah, down in the dumps, unmotivated. I knew that Christmas was going to be difficult due to the loss of my baby. What I did not anticipate was the difficulty I am experiencing now, after all the hype has passed. I was so focused on just getting through all the family gatherings, and I set my grief aside, somewhat, to survive.  I survived the holidays, but now I have to survive the aftermath.

I am just tired. Tired of feeling down. Tired of dealing with family. Tired of having to see family members who don’t really know me. Tired of plastering on a smile. Tired of making sure that one family member knows just how much I appreciated their presents. Tired of dealing with the family member who refuses to accept my daughter and won’t put her name on her gifts. Tired of carrying these burdens. Tired of  having such deep sadness below the surface but not being able to get it out.

I KNOW that this difficulty will pass and that God will bring healing. He always does, but this time of sorrow is just so hard. I wish I could just sit down and cry it all out and then move on. It is hard to be patient with the process, but there is hope. I am thankful that I am not alone. All I have to do is cry out, and someone will reach out to me. God is faithful like that to never leave me alone. I know that every tear I shed and even the ones I cannot shed are not in vain.

On the other hand, I do have many small things to smile about every day. My daughter is a true joy. I love how she calls herself Ashie and is proud to say her entire name. I love her “Hip! Hip!  Hurray!” and accompanying gestures when she completes her bathroom duties. Most of all, I love her sweet affection and undying devotion. Her little pats on my back, sweet kisses, and telling me my hair is pretty bring me joy in my darkest of days.

I feel blah, down in the dumps, umotivated, but I will be ok.

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by Diane

It’s been a busy day. You have been chasing children and wading through the destruction they have left in their paths. You are tired and can do no more, so you decide to go to bed. You prepare yourself for bed, say good night to your spouse, and are all set for a good night’s sleep. All you have to do is go to sleep. It seems like that should be simple, but it isn’t always. If you are like me, some nights I drift into blissful dreamland in just moments, but other nights I toss and turn all night because I just cannot turn off my brain. Anxious thoughts interfere with both days and nights, and unfortunately, they don’t just disappear on their own. Here are some ideas for coping with anxious thoughts, whether you are having trouble sleeping or just need to change your thought pattern.

1. 54321 Things you hear, smell, see, feel wherever you are or in an imaginary place – The idea is to think of 5 things you hear, smell, see, feel and then think of 4 things you hear, smell, see, feel, etc. until you get down to 1. I have never tried this, but it might work for you. By the time you think of all those things, your brain won’t have room to think about going to sleep, and you just might fall asleep. Therapist Lee Deckrow gave us that idea. If you try it, let us know what you think.

2. Breathing exercises – Try some relaxing breathing exercises to relax your body and distract your thinking. I think this is also helpful when caught in a moment of aggravation with the little ones

3. Lie in bed and focus on your breathing – This one works for me. I just think about my breathing. It relaxes me and helps me stop thinking about sleeping. It works every time, as long as I only think about my breathing

4. Pretend you are a fish going downstream – This one comes from our friend from another support group. Again, your mind will be taken off trying to go to sleep. This one was a bit much for my brain (sorry, L.L.), but it works for others. Just remember to take in the sights of the stream on your journey as a little fishy

5. Stop yourself – Sometimes, I just have to stop myself from obsessing over an anxious thoughts. Now, this does not work when I am trying to sleep, but it helps me during the day.

For example, yesterday, we were at Walmart, and I let Ashlyn get a little too far from me and wasn’t watching her as well as I should have. My husband asked me to keep her closer, and then my brain began to race with thoughts of “What if someone snatched her?” I could continue on that path or tell myself that she’s fine, that I’m a good mom, that I corrected the situation, and that I will do differently next time. There is no answer for the “What-if’s” (at least not for mine), so I just have to halt them.

I hope that you are feeling better about yourself as a parent. Take time today to remind yourself of something good you do as a parent and keep reminding yourself until it sticks.

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Many a day around noontime or shortly thereafter I find myself losing patience with the kids. Why do I think this is happening?

A) I am not eating lunch

B) They get tired and cranky and need naps

C) I get tired and cranky and need a nap

D) I forget to take my Effexor XR

E) Any one, combination, or all of the above

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