Rather than opening with a scenario like this one (come on, you know we were all hoping for somethin’ steamy in the kitchen), the book starts out with one more like this.
[scene: the wife is returning from the parent-teacher conference she rushed off to (alone–b/c hubby didn’t think he needed to meet their kids’ teachers) after preparing a hamburger dinner after her full day at work]
Wife walks in the door to find her husband asleep in front of the TV not having lifted a finger to do anything but click on a channel.
[aaaaaand ACTION!]
Wife bangs and rattles dishes and cabinets cleaning up kitchen then wordlessly heads off to bed. Later that evening husband climbs into bed and grabs wife’s breast and wonders why wife rolls over and acts “cold”.
[enter voice of wizened narrator]
The premise of this book is that your mate ought to be the number-one priority in your life; that a good marital relationship is based upon pleasing each other, being sensitive and tuned-in to each other’s emotional–as well as sexual– needs. This book concerns itself with our need to be intimate with each other as husband and wife; to share our most intimate thoughts and feelings; to understand the different love languages in which we express our love; to come together as one in marriage, both emotionally and physically.
So, rather than focusing on the end result (sex), this book gives advice on how to complete all of the steps leading up to it (communication). Thinks like how to:
- Speak each other’s love languages
- Fight fairly
- Understand your mate
- Make deposits into each other’s “love banks”–invest in each other
- Recognize dangerous games couples can “play”…but shouldn’t
- Begin to share your feelings
- Listen to each other, really listen
This was a good review of The Birth Order, the 5 Love Languages, and just some basic communication strategies I *think* we studied in pre-marital counseling, but it has been a while. It never hurts to review good information.
On a side note, while I was reading this book, my husband hand-washed the dishes three nights in row while I sat on the counter and talked to him! I guess just even having the book around is a good inspiration and reminder to the guys that we need to be taken care of and listened to too. And for us girls that our guys have needs as well…
Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Because Love is an All-Day Affair by Dr. Kevin Leman
[…] also read and reviewed Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Because Love is an All-Day Affair and Is there Really Sex After Kids? on the blog […]