Before, during, and even after having a baby, one of the biggest decisions a couple will have to make is whether mom will stay at home or return to/go find employment. Dave Ramsey, devoted to counseling folks hurting from the results of financial stress, gives his take on this question here.
Dear Dave,
I’m a stay-at-home mom with two preschool kids. My husband brings home about $2,800 a month, and our mortgage payment is $1,100 a month. Over the last two years we’ve been tapping into our savings to help pay bills. Do you think I should find a good daycare center for the kids and go back to work?
ToniDear Toni,
I can’t blame you for wanting to stay home with your children – especially when they’re so young. Being a full-time mom is a great thing.
The biggest problem I see is that you guys are a little rich on your house payment. Forty percent of your husband’s pay is going toward your home, and that’s just too much. Your house payment should never be more than about 25% of your take-home pay.
It’s no picnic trying to live on $1,700 a month especially with two babies in the house. But there’s not a lot of fat to cut out at this point. One option would be for your husband to do something to get his income level up, whether it’s taking a part-time job for awhile or furthering his education. Another is to sell the house, and I’m not a big fan of that one.
Think of this as a math problem with three components – income, lifestyle and house payment. One of these has got to give. But I think you and your husband need to sit down, hold hands and talk this one out together. There’s going to have to be some sacrifice, and only you two can determine what you’re willing and unwilling to do.
– Dave
After our first child, it was worth it for me to continue working fulltime and put him into childcare since my husband was still in seminary. But that only lasted about 6 months. I was torn between momming and working, stressed beyond belief, and struggling from a mysterious case of “I’m just not myself” (aka-postpartum depression). I transitioned to working from home, but after our second came along, caring for 2 under 2 years of age kept me more than busy. And then came # 3…and well, you get the point.
I struggle so mightily with this issue. I know I am blessed to be able to be a SAHM, but I don’t really enjoy it the way some other mothers revel in their momdom. I adore my children, but have come to the conclusion that having to micro-manage every aspect of their lives every second of every minute of every day (when that’s not at ALL my management style) is at the heart of what it is that daily is driving me crazy.
We’ve gotten our double-income-down-to-one-income finances well under control thanks to Dave Ramsey’s great advice in his Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness book, so when I started looking to get back into the work world again, my husband challenged me very much as to my reasons why. Obviously, finances aren’t driving my decision, so I have to dig a little deeper and figure out what is giving me the itch to “do something grownup”…and to figure out what that is!
For now, I’ll keep on doing what I’m doing, but I’m keeping my options open. What about you?
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