by Diane
The official definition of toddler, according to Merriam-Webster Online is “one that toddles.” Toddle refers to sauntering, which means to “walk about in an idle or leisurely manner.” I think the word idle is key. Toddlers do not move quickly, unless of course it is to avoid some parentally imposed task like getting dressed.
We all know this, right?
Knowing it and being able to deal with it are completely different. I have observed this idle sauntering and experienced it long before I became a mother. It’s funny how it is so much easier to be patient with someone else’s dawdling toddler and how it is even cute. When you get your own toddler and are trying to manage the “simple” task of walking out the door, this slow sauntering is anything but cute.
Here is a classic scenario for me. Wednesday night, I decided to go to the grocery store. I did not want to do this, but we were out of food to the point that not going would be more complicated. Ashlyn and I finished dinner a little after 6 pm, which means that we should be able to leave the house well before 7. This “reasonable” calculation does not figure in the Ashlyn factor. Sadly, I looked at the clock and figured that we would be leaving about 7. We headed upstairs for the bathroom about 6:30 so that Ashlyn could take care of business. We spent a maddening 35 minutes or so in the bathroom. She did her duty, so to speak, after multiple rounds of reading the same books, going potty, washing her hands, and then finding she needed to do it all over again.
Don’t get me wrong. Ashlyn did great. She is using the potty well, and since she is still learning, I can’t expect her to be a pro. However, after spending what seemed like countless hours in the bathroom already that day, one more half hour finished off my patience.
It is difficult to be patient with a slow-moving child when I have stuff to be done. So, I have to ask myself what is more important, Ashlyn using the potty or my getting to the grocery store a half hour earlier. I don’t think I should abandon my goals, but I am not going to spend all day in the bathroom reading the same books either. Balance is key but is most difficult to achieve. I think I definitely need to keep encouraging Ashlyn as she learns “big girl” things but that I also need to distance myself a little when I am losing patience. For instance, I have told her that I can’t read to her right now and have given her something else to do while she is sitting on the potty.
Also, praying for patience is a big help. Wednesday night, when I was at the end of my rope, I prayed for God’s strength and patience because I don’t want Ashlyn to bear the brunt of my own imperfections. Amazingly, after we got home, before I had to take her potty one more time, she began to stack the yogurt cups. Now, this is not monumental by any means, but it was sweet enough and cute enough for me to lose my edge and enjoy my daughter, so I felt that moment was indeed an answer to prayer.
The other key for me to remember is that this time is so short. Ashlyn is almost 2, and while this stage involves slow sauntering, it certainly also has many moments of sweetness and cuteness exclusive to this period in her life. If I wish these days away, I will be missing a lot of treasurable moments.
The next time I start to become impatient, I will take a deep breath, try to take some kind of break, and remember what a gift I have in the many moments with my girl.
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life.after.baby 