by Alicia
I was born in July of 1976, which makes me 31. I got married in June of 1998 to my college sweetheart Russell. We have 3 kids – Paige (6 1/2), Brooke (4) and David (10 months). I am writing on LAB to tell some of my story and give Jenna and Diane a break from what I view as an overwhelming task of daily posting. My disclaimer: I am not a writer, but hope that putting my jumbled thoughts down will help me sort things out in my head and may help someone else.
The summer of 2007 was a tough one for me. Extended family problems brought forward some painful events from the past. My husband was concerned for me and thought that I should talk to someone – like a counselor. My immediate reaction was NO WAY, what good would it do to tell someone else about my life! Well, he lined up an appointment for me anyway on August 13, 2007 and said he would come to support me. Just before we had our first appointment, Jenna emailed the following to me and several other people:
Hi everyone,
God is definitely orchestrating the timing and placement of Life After Baby (LAB) support group. We are a Postpartum Support International (PSI) group, and so thankful to Ada Bible Church for allowing us to use their space to meet every 1st, 3rd, and 5th Monday of the month with the 1st Monday of every month especially organized as a “Family Night”. (***NOTE*** LAB now meets on the 2nd and 4th Monday of the month.)
You are officially invited to our first meeting on Monday, August 6 at Ada Bible Church from 7-9pm. Ada’s address is 8899 Cascade Rd SE, Ada, MI 49301. Nancy Roberts, RN from Spectrum Health who has founded the Spectrum Health “This isn’t what I expected” support group has agreed to lead our first meeting. For comfort of new mommies with babies, we’ll be meeting in the nursery, so access to rocking chairs, diaper changing, bottle warmers, sinks, bouncy seats, etc is right at our fingertips.
If you’re an expectant mommy or daddy, we are especially excited to have you come and develop your support network before your little one arrives.
The purpose of this group is to provide an avenue for community, support, resources, education, and encouragement within the context of the truth of God’s Word. Our mission is to help families cope with the stressful complications of welcoming new babies by providing a safe place for respectful sharing while maintaining utmost confidentiality in who attends and what is discussed.
There is no fee, no need to register, just come. Please spread this invitation to others you know who might benefit from LAB group. We are so thrilled to connect families to care and resources and help each other know that YES, there IS life after baby!
Cordially,
Jenna Scott
I totally took this invite the wrong way and was completely offended that Jenna thought I needed support. What really threw me were the words POSTPARTUM SUPPORT INTERNATIONAL. I had heard that Jenna struggled with postpartum depression but had my own uneducated views of what this was. Come on, I had 3 kids and was surviving thus far, so I emailed this back to her:
This is a great idea. I will not be able to make it tonight, but keep me in mind for future meetings. I will also pass this along to my mom friends.
I really had nothing planned for that night except to go back-to-school shopping. Little did I know how much trouble Jenna and Diane went through to get this group started. Jenna emailed this back to me:
If you ever need a night “out” with David, I’d love to hold him and get to know him while you sit and chit chat–you have such an upbeat and encouraging spirit I’d be thrilled to have you amongst us–especially if we are able to have non-churched moms come to the group–I want them to see good people and you are one of them.
Wow, I thought that was REALLY nice of her to say that about me. Maybe I should make an attempt to make it to the second meeting…at least to support Jenna. Jenna and I had met 6 years earlier in a church financial small group. We sort of kept in touch over the years, mainly through church related events. I met Diane at a church women’s retreat and she told me later that that was the weekend she found out she was pregnant with Ashlyn. I think we spoke again once while nursing our babies in the church nursery.
I went to my first counseling session and it was one of the worst experiences of my life!!! The therapist told me, “you are not hearing voices or cutting yourself, so you must be fine.” She also said that I am a survivor and have 3 beautiful kids (they were in the waiting room) and I should thank my “higher power” for that. She spent more time talking about herself and the things she has seen in her career than trying to get to know me. I vowed that I would NEVER again share my deepest darkest secrets with anyone because I couldn’t risk them being “stomped on” again. My husband agreed that the counseling session sucked, apologized, and said he would support whatever I wanted to do next. I look back now and see that God was still working to get me help.
A day after I met with the horrible therapist Jenna emailed me another invitation to a LAB meeting. This time a statement at the end of the email hit me: After each meeting, I hope that you go away knowing that YES, there IS life after baby! I thought to myself, “I do have a baby, and I do want life.” I am so down right now, maybe meeting moms in worse circumstances than mine would help me put things into perspective. I could be a support to all these suffering moms! 
I went to the second meeting and to my surprise, these PPD women had much more to teach me than I could teach them. In addition, I met a therapist there that I thought I might be willing to talk to. I came home refreshed and excited, had a new outlook on counseling, and the benefits of a support group. It was great to be with some moms that were “real”.
to be continued…
life.after.baby 